World Heritage Porn

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Ok, so I promised you smut, and smut you shall have.  Those with a prudish disposition should probably avoid this post.  Though having said that I didn’t take a photo of the guy with the horse, so at least you can be thankful for that.  If I was being sensible and mature I would say something about the tantric origins of the carvings and attaining divine inspiration through sexual energy blah blah blah, but really, we’re all just here to snigger at dirty statues right?  And there are A LOT of them:

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To get the more serious stuff out of the way, there are of course statues of gods and goddesses as well.  This is the goddess Durga the invincible, holding a different weapon in each of her hands.  During a great demon battle all the other Gods handed over their weapons so she could destroy the demon king, because unlike so many other religions HINDU CHICKS KICK ASS.

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And now onto the fun stuff.  This one for instance was described by my audioguide as ‘a remarkably flexible couple flanked by two attendants who appear to be helping themselves’.  Which is a nice way of putting it.  By the way, a lot of these couples seem to have attendants to help them get into the more tricky positions, which may explain why modern people stuggle with the Kama Sutra.  We’re not inflexible, we’re just too shy to ask a passing servant to hold our limbs in place!

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Not all the statues are classed as erotic, there are many nymphs engaged in ‘every day’ activites like applying vermillion (the red stripe in a woman’s hair parting that shows she’s married) or throwing balls, however they are all very buxom and bendy, so they’re still pretty provocative.  If there is a seductive way of removing a thorn from one’s foot, these nymphs will find it.

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That last one is apparently pulling on an item of clothing, which I think may be pushing it a bit. (Also, as an aside from all the immature giggles, those poses? Wow. They had serious artists here)

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Darn pesky monkeys.  Can’t even get rid of them when you’re not wearing anything.

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Please do not distract the temple elephants.

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The headstand pose is one of the most famous statues here, and no, not even the tantric Hindus thought this was a viable sexual position.  This is actually a yantra, a symbol similar to a Buddhist mandala used to focus the mind on spiritual thoughts, disguised in young nubile bodies.

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This one however is just pure and simple filth.  Don’t say you weren’t warned.

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